Digital Parsimony

It’s time to finally consider purchasing a monkey. Sure, every kid’s dream has been to own a little bugger that can fling feces, but who has actually considered it as a possibility? While on a vacation in Mexico, I got the chance to handle a small squirrel monkey. Other than it being the cutest animal I’ve ever seen, she was also the softest and most intelligent.

So, on the good side, it’s cute, intelligent, special, and unique in every which way, separating it from any dog, cat, or midget you’ve ever owned. After a bit of research though, it turns out that the little primates throw not only feces, but also tamper tantrums and the box of cookies you sorted away in the cupboard last night. Ones who are blessed with owning a monkey also endure biting, scratching, pinching, and urinating in all directions. They eat like we do too, so picky monkeys could like prime rib and prime rib only, and unless you want a pissed off monkey on your hands (or quite possibly your head), you better feed it. So now that you’ve bought a monkey that doesn’t like you and has clawed out your left eye, consider the fact that the thing won’t die for 20-30 years.

Damn, I really wanted a monkey.

The little things say a lot about a politician and his or her campaign. The one I want to address is specifically design and utilization of technology. Everything from good organization skills to breaking things down the right way should be an important aspect of selecting a candidate.

What am I getting at? The importance of technology and design. Brittney once talked to me about an entire book that was written to help navigate through all the programs that the Veterans Affairs (VA) offers. Someone actually had to write a book to sift through all the legal garbage and technical lingo our government uses to keep our people from their entitled rights.

When my friend Jeremy (a veteran that just came home) showed me a link a printout of a VA website and vented his frustrations about not being able to find any contact information, I was mildly amused at how tactfully these assholes could hide this stuff or at how chalked-full of morons our government really is. Barack Obama seems to be the only one looking at this as a current issue, and hopefully if he gets into office he carries these organization skills into government, making government programs like grants for students, taxes, forms, and (I cross my fingers) the VA easy enough to navigate for the average joe.

I finally got around to looking at the current candidates websites to see if there’s anything I like. So here’s worst-to-best as far as technology goes:

Worst: John McCain
This is by far the worst site of the three covered. The navigation bar is cumbersome at best, and the grammar on certain pages is so typical “politics” and “business” that none of it is understandable. I also see lame and stretched RSS buttons on his blog, with crappy content. Sorry man, your site likes like it was born when you were. Not only that, but no technology policy to be found.

Better: Hillary Clinton
Unlike John McCain, this lady’s site tends to make more sense. Alright, she at least has links to communities like Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, and even Twitter (to which she has no followers…). My worst gripe is her issues drop-down menu on the navigation bar, it’s nearly impossible to read any of it! So sorry, you too fail a designing a functional and well organized website.

Best: Barack Obama
From proper organization, and a clean layout, Barack wins my vote. Obama’s website uses Web 2.0 architecture and has wonderful statistical features. On the right pane, he has a results center that gives live statistics on his current amount of votes and delegates. Also, he has technology identified in his issues, in which he has a great deal of content of keeping the internet open and using technology to help solve our problems. Social bookmarks seem to also be the site’s forte, it links to Flickr, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter (where he has 14,000+ followers), Digg, and LinkedIn to name a few.

Yeah, I can tell all that from a website. Organize the government and its programs like Obama’s site and he will make enough difference to change the way our government programs work entirely. If you didn’t get it, I’m not ranting about me choosing a candidate based on how pretty his or her website is, but on the ability to organize and manage information through the use of technology and having a policy to improve technology and its function in government, which will hopefully carry on into the candidate’s term as president.

Take the time to watch this jewel, it makes all the sense in the world and he obviously doesn’t care about hurting anyone’s feelings. The most memorable quote from the video comes about five minutes in where he says, “my freedom is far more important than your faith”. Well, I agree with every word he says.

Don’t get pissed off at me yet…this isn’t some Nazi rant, but a review of the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey. I came across an article in AskMen.com’s blog titled “Is Atheism a Fad” and decided to do a little bit of research. The survey revealed some astonishing facts about the way we experience religion over our lifetimes. A quarter of Americans have changed their religious affiliation during their lifetimes, with the fasted growing affiliation being unaffiliated. So of all religions, the one that’s growing most is the one that ascribes to no religion at all! I guess that’s kind of interesting, and I also think that’s because a lot of people don’t want to call themselves atheists because they’re evil, and no one wants to be called agnostic because they have the slightest clue of what that is.

Beside the point, here are some fun facts:

Richest People’s Religions (Earn $100,000+):
1. Jews (46%)
2. Hindus (43%)
3. Orthodox (28%)

Smartest People’s Religions (Earn Postgraduate Degree):
1. Hindus (45%)
2. Jews (35%)
3. Buddhists (26%)

Dumbest People’s Religions (Less than High School):
1. Muslims (21%)
2. Jehovah’s Witnesses (19%)
3. Black Protestants (18%)

Well, of those statistics, we can definitely correlate that education is directly tied to prosperity, but other than that, I’ll let you come to your own conclusions. Go look for yourself: U.S. Religious Landscape Survey

So, what do you think?

It’s now Sunday, and my nose is running, I have the chills, and my energy level is minimal at best, but that’s beside the point.

It all started with a fish-like consumption of alcohol on Friday night, Dima’s birthday. Arriving at 7:00PM, several hours after getting off work, getting dressed, and making the drive to his place, we started off with beer. After several bottles of good beer I decided to switch up the game plan, drinking Miller High Life. A brand so moronic they state that their beer is the “champagne of all beer”. After several bottles, separating it from urine was starting to become ever so difficult, so I made the executive decision of indulging in Vodka.

A beverage consumed religiously by Russian folk (on left is your model example, Rodion), it’s as clear as water and gives no hang-over if not mixed with anything at all. Surely, this proves the thoughtfulness of Soviet science and engineering. According the article on CNN.com the Russian Health Ministry estimated consumption in 1996 was 18 liters of pure alcohol per adult annually, which is equivalent of 38 liters of 100 proof vodka. I definitely put a dent in my annual quota that night. After vodka it was Tequila that filled my fancy, and after Tequila it was back to beer. Only when I poured myself a glass of scotch that smelled and tasted like paint thinner, did I decide it was a good time to call it a night. Brittney drove home that night, and it was quite possibly the best buzz (that didn’t involve projectile vomiting) that I ever had.

I think this weekend was fun, and I’ll close it off by reaching into my blog mailbox (for making posts by sending a text-message to an e-mail address, and grabbing this little gem: “Its Dima’s birthday, and we’re gettin drunk, you will remember this tomorrow Vlad. ” …sure don’t.